This is 26

So it’s kind of become a ritual of mine to take a step back and evaluate my life a little bit on a yearly basis. It’s good to get some perspective on things and see how I am progressing. It’s such a nice little activity to do. I’m roughly 3 quarters of the way through my 26th year of this life I have been given, which has been plenty of time to get a feel for what 26 is really like. So here it goes…

26 has a better job than 25 did. It’s longer hours but more challenging;

26 has a lot of ideas. A lot! It’s just a matter of putting them into action;

26 is attempting that work/life balance. It often goes off kilter one way or the other;

26’s 6year old relationship has now become a marriage. And constant compromise… “I’ll cook, you wash up”;

Like 25, 26 is still dreaming of being a writer. Must sit down to write more often!

26 is restless. There’s a whole world out there to see; and goals to achieve. No getting comfortable now;

As in previous ages, 26 is constantly evolving too. A true sense of self is being developed. Still progress to be made though…. Maybe a little less passive aggressive next year and a little more understanding too.




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What’s in a Name

During my engagement to now husband, many people asked if I would be changing my name, and when, without hesitation, I would answer with a simple “yes”, some would look at me as if I was the queen of anti-feminism.

In these modern times, and in the country I live in, it is perfectly acceptable to conjoin our two surnames or even to not change my name at all. There is no fear of being judged a spinster, or as living in sin anymore, as would’ve happened in decades and centuries gone by.

I don’t feel “oppressed” or like I am somebody else’s property by taking his name. It feels right for us as our relationship evolves and develops into its own little family unit. I don’t feel like I am setting back the feminist movement in anyway.

Not that I put much thought into my name change though. In our families it is the done thing. I don’t question it because of the ideals and values I have surrounding marriage and family.

I’m a traditionalist I guess. Old school family values, with the idea of marriage as two people in unity.

I did think about how I would feel in regards to my identity at the thought of changing my surname having forever been a Kingham. When the Caitlyn Jenner Vanity Fair issue was released, I wondered how she felt about Bruce Jenner seemingly ceasing to exist, but now I’ve had a few months to get used to my new name I realise that gender transition is similar in aspects to name change in that the person is evolving rather than simply ceasing to exist. I’m the same person. I still have the same likes and dislikes; the same dreams, the same thoughts and feelings. I’m just a married lady now.

All this said however, I haven’t changed my name on my blog or on the page I have on Facebook.

My maiden name is my heritage and is very close to extinction due to a lack of boys on that side. It has been me for the first 26 years of my life and I don’t want to simply pass over the name and forget it. I feel that to honour my heritage, it would be great to maintain my maiden name through my writing. To have it as my pseudonym so to speak. I’m proud of my roots and want to create some kind of legacy.

So whilst I’m still getting used to being a Mrs Spencer, Kingham will always live on in my writing.

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Protected: Mr & Mrs Spencer – 5th June 2015

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Political Blah Blah

As I write this, it has been 6 days since the General Election of 2015, and people are still agitated by its outcome.

The hype surrounding the arrival of the royal baby girl died down quicker than this, and I think political fatigue has well and truly taken over me now.

There are articles being batted around about how David Cameron and the Conservatives are going to ruin our country and there are people on my Facebook news feed, sharing them, commenting on them, and generally being idiotic about the election result; throwing their toys out of the pram, insulting tory voters and spewing crap about how they need to do things to make up for voting tory.

It’s infantile, against free-speech, and unaccepting of the democracy we live in.

They just need to get over it. Just because there is now a wholly conservative government, it doesn’t mean that our country is going to go down in flames completely. These people need to realise that being active in political issues isn’t just about preaching, and spewing your angry opinions every time an election rolls round. If you really wanted to make change you would be doing it whenever you could, and under any government regime.

On the website there are open consultations on various different topics, which are essentially discussions that you can respond to, with the government department taking into account all responses before making decisions. There are documents to read on each proposal being made, and various ways that you can make your opinions known.

There is also a HM Government e-petitions website, where anyone at all can start a petition that would instigate change. I’ve seen some individuals sharing on social media petitions they think should be signed but these are through a website called Sum Of Us, but as this is a global campaign organisation, I reckon it would be better to go through the government website, at least that way you will know MPs are likely to see it.

Individuals could also attend surgeries hosted by their local MP, where they can talk to their representative face to face about the matters that concern them. In addition to this, there is also good old fashioned pen and paper, and you can write to the Prime Minister himself at number 10 Downing Street.

There are more ways to be politically active and to instigate change rather than just spewing your hatred of one political party, hoping that you will scare the person you are talking to into sharing your opinions and voting the way that you do.

Don’t attack someone for how they have decided to vote. We are after all in a democracy, not a dictatorship. Personally, I am fed up of hearing, and seeing on social media, some people preaching their beliefs and opinions as if they are the only beliefs and opinions to be held. Yes they have the right to these opinions, but everyone else has the right to think differently should they so wish.


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Born To Be You

When you feel like you are being judged, like your every move is being watched; just be yourself.

When you feel like an outsider looking in, like you just don’t belong; just be yourself.

When you feel that people do not “get” you; just be yourself.

Being yourself and letting your own brand of style and personality shine through is an awful lot better than trying to conform to the style and tastes of others – like a piece of clothing, someone else’s personality may not fit you, so it is a waste of time even trying to squeeze into it.

Trying to fit somebody else’s conception of style, personality and behaviour will only see your spirit and soul destroyed, because no matter how hard you try, you will never meet their expectations.

Being you is how you are supposed to be. You were born to be you – so be the best and most original version of you that you can be, not a cheap imitation of another. Rock your own style and personality, if people do not appreciate it, then that is their issue. If they cannot accept that every single person is different and cannot be shaped to their own skewed view of how people “should” be, then feel sorry for them; that poor, trapped human being.

Let your personality shine through. Whatever you do, do it in style!

Add your own stamp of uniqueness.

Rock your own brand of awesome

Don’t let others make you feel bad for just being you.

“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine”

Shine silently, and just get on with doing what you have to and in your own way.

Pepper everyday tasks with your bright side

Free your personality

Let your spirit soar

Stick it to the man

Be your own style icon.

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