That high I had from graduating university is starting to fade.
I have realised that I really miss being at uni. I miss going to class; socialising with fellow students, coffee in hand; researching an assignment and learning new things, new things I didn’t really appreciate back then.
I look back over all of my education and think it kind of sad that I have only just got into my stride in taking in all information given to me and actually finding it interesting. I have only just got my real thirst for knowledge, and it’s too late.
Yeah I can still learn stuff (and I intend to) but it is a real shame that I didn’t get my thirst for knowledge at least 3 years ago. If I had the inclination to learn back then, like I do now, I think I could’ve got the 2:1 classification that I really wanted at degree level.
Hindsight is a beautifully awful thing sometimes.
No point regretting my lack of interest in knowledge back then, I cannot do much about it now, unless I do a masters or a post graduate degree, but I’m really not interested in those, especially as I am lacking life direction job-wise.
I’m not even sure of the reason why I went to university. The idea of being a writer was a fairly new idea to me when I applied for my place at Newman University College. I guess I just thought it would be useful; and it has been in various ways I suppose, but it hasn’t stopped this real-world, lost feeling that I have had since handing over my last assignment in May.
The protection of university instantly melted away like snow on the equator; gone are the routines of going to class; gone are days spent in the library making notes for assignments, getting distracted by “important” conversations with friends; gone is the support of my tutors. That safe-haven that delayed my emergence into the real world is no-more to me.
Yeah, I can wrap myself up in my university sweatshirt, and re-live memories, but it will not bring back those 3 years at uni, it will not let me re-do assignments I know I could’ve done better in; that sweatshirt will not let me leave the real-world now that I have been thrust into it.
I may feel like a cheat, because I wouldn’t say that I am university smart, but I have a degree;
University is over now.