I haven’t written much lately about my personal life and that is because there hasn’t been a lot to say. Well not much to say that didn’t involve repeating what I have said in previous posts or getting angry about a lack of things happening in my life.
Change is in the air though. Winter is finally making way for spring and I am filled with an overwhelming sense that the winds of change will soon be coming my way. I feel that my life as I know it is slowly, very slowly, shifting.
Small changes have already occured and these fill me with the hope that something big (and great) will be coming my way.
I am still looking for a suitable job, that is currently still the same, but I have started volunteering at a local library, with the aim of getting the recent and relevant experience that being a cleaner just won’t provide me with. I’m kicking myself for not doing this sooner, but I’m trying not to dwell on where I could be in life now had I volunteered when I first left university in May of 2011. I’m sure the smarter, parallel world version of me that did volunteer when she left uni is now in a great job and able to live in a house that she brought herself, but at least the me in this world is finally doing it. Better late than never right?
Since starting at the library my confidence and self-esteem is soaring again. The constant rejection had definately taken its toll, as I assume it does for many job hunters. You begin to feel useless; you may feel like a failure in life, that you’re not good for anything. And you know you’ve hit rock bottom when daytime television actually holds your attention. Volunteering has made me feel useful again. So far all I have done is put books back on the shelves, making sure they’re neat and in the right order, and have helped the older generation get to grips with computers but through doing it I feel a lot calmer and happier. Just meeting new people has made a big difference. The other day, I was just going through the shelves, making them look tidy and making a mental note of the books I would like to borrow and I felt like I was in the right place, exactly where I belonged. If this volunteering could lead to a full time, paid job at a library, I would be very happy indeed. Then again, I’d be very happy if volunteering could get me any job.
I do think it is having an effect already. I haven’t been at the library very long but I have already updated my CV on those job sites and since then two different companies have approached me in regards to a job. They approached me! The first was from a media company looking for an Advertising Account Manager, which I do not have the experience for (someone obviously didn’t read all of my CV) and the other was for an administration job, which I could have done if it wasn’t so far away from me. Inappropraite job vacancies maybe but I’m happy that I am being approached by emploers/recruiters. I’m not completely useless after all.
Yes, I can definately feel a change in the air.